THE MARRIAGE & FAMILY INSTITUTE

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MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT THE FORGIVENESS PROCESS
 
Offering forgiveness will mean the wrongdoing never happened.

Everything will be the same if forgiveness takes place.

The perpetrator will be sorry.

Forgiveness will elicit an apology.

If amends are made, the relationship will last.

Religious ritual precludes and replaces the psychological work of forgiveness.

Counseling and psychotherapy precludes and replace religious rituals for forgiveness.

Forgiveness lets the offender "off the hook."

Forgiveness is a singular event or act.

The victim is "all good"; the offender is "all bad".

Forgiveness takes away power.

By not forgiving, the perpetrator continues to be punished.

If forgiveness is allowed, the act of injustice will be forgotten, or the victim's pain will be dishonored.

 
 
 

©Christopher Hershman 2007-2010

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