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"There are no victims, only volunteers."
The Victim-Rescuer-Perpetrator Triangle

Victims of childhood trauma often get locked in a pattern of re-enactment within their relationships called the victim-rescuer-perpetrator triangle.

When this logic dominates relationships, someone has to fill each of the three roles. Often, the survivor takes the victim position and perceives the therapist as a rescuer. Once this pattern is set in place, someone has to be the perpetrator. More often than not, the perpetrator role is assigned to a third party outside the therapy relationship.

A problem arises when the therapist agrees to be the rescuer, because the rescuing behavior of the therapist further locks the survivor into the victim position. In turn, this can result in escalation series of crises and symptoms to stimulate more rescuing behavior by the therapist. In conjunction with this escalation the identified perpetrator may have to be perceived as far more evil then he or she is in reality.
The triangle is rarely stable.The triangle may flip such that the therapist is perceived as the perpetrator, and then some outside party must become the rescuer or the survivor may flip into the perpetrator role and victimize others.

The goal of therapy is for the survivor to step outside the triangle altogether, so that relationships are no longer dominated by the patterns and logic of the past. In order to be of assistance, the therapist must strive to remain neutral and not get locked into any position on the triangle. Part of the work of therapy is analyzing the way relationships re-enact the victim-rescuer-perpetrator triangle, then changing the patterns.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results."
"Families are as sick as their secrets."

©Christopher Hershman 2007-2010

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