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EXPLORE YOUR PATTERNS OF TOUCHING
 A. As I experience it, the way we touch each other in each of these ,situations when we are together is... (Skip those that do not apply).
                 ___riding in the car
      ___watching TV at home
      ___walking
      ___saying "hello"
      ___saying "good bye"
      ___in bed, but not having sex
      ___working together on a task
      ___playing together
      ___a casual evening at home
      ___other___________________________
 B. Some of these situations in which I would like more or less or different
   kinds of touching are (explain) ...
  C. When  it comes to touching each other...
         ___I prefer to do the touching, you prefer to be touched
         ___You prefer to do the touching, I prefer to be touched
         ___We both like to touch rather than be touched
         ___We both like to be touched rather than touch
         ___We both like to touch and be touched
         ___Neither of us likes to touch or to be touched
         ___Other
 D. The way it works out for us is ...
 
      ___I do most of the touching, you receive.
           
      ___­­­You do most of the touching, I receive.
           
      ___We compete for who gives or gets the touching so that neither of us gets much                of either.
           
      ___We touch and receive touching about equally.
           
      ___Neither of us gives or gets touching and we like it that way.
       ___Other

Love and Sexuality

 

 

I. I think love is (CHECK ONE),

 

a) a feeling                          c) an attraction

b) a decision                         d) other:

 

2. When I hear the word love, I think of (CHECK ONE):

 

a) soft lights and music              d) marriage

b) a mother and child                 e) couples

c) close friend                       f) great sex

 

3. How has your future spouse (within the last week) showed you'that he/she loves you? Give two examples:

 

4. I received my basic information about sex from (CHECK ONE or MORE);

 

a) parents/relative                   d) books/magazines

b) school                             e) other

c) friends

 

5. CIRCLE the statements you feel are true concerning sex‑sexuality:

 

a) There is basically no difference between sex and sexuality.

b) Sexuality includes who I am as male/female.

c) Sex really relates just to the act of intercourse.

d) Sexuality is part of me no matter where I am or what I'm doing.

e) Sex includes all aspects of sexual activity between a couple.

 

6.   The most typical statements I hear about marriage are (CHECK ONE or MORE):

 

a) It's a 50/50 deal                  d) you lose your freedom in marriage

b) with the right partner everything  e) you get out what you put in

      will be o.k.                    f) all you can really expect is a home

c) marriage is outdated                 and kids.

                                      g) other:

 

7. When I think of sex I think of (CHECK ONE or MORE):

 

a)the opposite sex                    e) babies

b)communication                       f) my future partner

c)intercourse                         g) satisfaction

d)X‑rated movies/magazines            h) other:

 

1 think sex in marriage is (CHECK ONE or MORE):

 

a) essential to good relationship     d) something we will need to work at

b) a way to express my love           e) the thing that keeps people together

c) important but not everything       f).0ther:

 

 


9. We are informed about and have discussed (CHECK ONE or MORE):

 

a)Church's teaching on family planning        d) our feelings on different methods

b)how many children we would like                   of family planning

c)how far apart we should space our           e) other:

       children

 

10. After marriage our love will grow primarly by (CHECK ONE or MORE):

 

a) improving communication skills           d) by itself

b) responding to partner's needs            e) having/caring for children

c) doing things together                    f) other:


SEX IS………………….

 

 

 

1. My parents think sex is ..........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. My church teaches that sex is ..........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. My personal faith says that sex Is ..........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4. My friends believe that sex is ..........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5.  To me sex is ..........

 


SHARING INTIMATE FEELINGS

 (These are questions of intentions to enhance your communication in your marriage.)

 

1. How will I let you know when I am in the mood for intercourse?__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

2.  How will I feel if one of us does not reach an orgasm during our love making?_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

3.  How will I let you know if I am in the mood to be affectionate but not in the mood to have  intercourse?__________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

4. How would I like my sexual needs to be met when I feel down or unhappy?____________

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

5. What anxieties do I have about our sex life? What expectations?______________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

(Adapted ‑ftam Love in Deed by Judith Tate O'Bri#h;


ex and sexuality

 

 

 

 DEFINE AND DISCUSS (Individually and then share.)

 

 

 

1. My fiance believes that sex‑sexuality is...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. My church says the following about sex‑sexuality ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. My parents think sex‑sexuality is...

 

 

 

 

 

 

4. To me sex is...

 

 

 

 

 

 

5. To me sex‑sexuality is ...


Identify how you like to touch and be touched
 
 A.  Some of the ways I like to be touched are...
  B.  Some of the ways I do not like to be touched are...
    a. tickled b. repeated or agitated rubbing c. touched on my ears
    d. other
  C. Some of the ways I like to give touching are...
  
   a. stroke your hair
   b. relax with my arms around you
   c. explore your hands
   d. other
 (Adapted from The Relationship Manual by D. Luecke p. 63)

©Christopher Hershman 2007-2012

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